3/15 Appleton, WI w/ Ratsak, Bag of Gremlins
3/16 Milwaukee, WI at Quarters w/ Total Trash, Soup Moat, Strange Matter
3/17 Chicago, IL at Albion House w/ Kontaminat, Bedsores, Laughboy
3/18 Detroit, MI at New Dodge Lounge w/Hoodrat, Raw Dogs, Karmic Lava
3/19 Cincinnati, OH at The Chameleon w/White Walls
3/20 Lexington, KY at Al’s Sidecar w/ Mayonnaise and Blood Pheasant
3/21 St Louis, MO at Bonerville w/Overdoser, Who Fucking Cares?, Killer Blow, Coaxed, Nos Bos
3/22 Birmingham, AL at Bottletree w/Anwar Sadat, Legion
3/23 New Orleans, LA at The Mushroom w/ Anne Frankenstein, New Lands
3/24 Houston, TX at White Swan w/ Iskallt Reg, Hel-Razor
3/25 Austin, TX at Hotel Vegas w/ Recide, Breakout, Crystal Shit
3/26 Denton, TX at Bruiser’s Dojo w/ Mean And Ugly, Chainchomp, Krokodil
3/27 Kansas City, MO at The Begle Shop w/ Occult Detective Club, Night Moves, Bad Mouth, Broken Rites
3/28 Omaha, NE w/ Bright Eyes, The Faint
come on out and dont hurt us because we dont have obamacare yet
i have realized upon writing this blog and spreading it around that not everything i say is accurate or not everything i say is something i should’ve said. it would be cool of me to take the “fuck you” stance as a response (which i still do, partly, which is something i shouldn’t say), but uhhhh
well, i dont really know. i guess all i have to say is NOW YOU KNOW HOW PHIL ANSELMO FELT ABOUT THE DECEPTIVE PRACTICES OF THE HEAVY METAL MEDIA
http://www.blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=53115
this link also shows that Vinne Paul’s last words to his brother before he died was likely “Van Halen”.
we drove away from the nice and sunny and hilly land of San Francisco and towards the weird and sunny and not hilly land of Reno, Nevada. i was in Reno once, with my father. we hung out with his old friend, a Oscar winning technical director who toured with Michael Jackson. we did not talk about Michael Jackson but i recall we had a nice meal in a scenic restaurant.
on the way out, we stopped for gas at the most expensive gas station we had ever seen. the “homo depot” shirt was also located in this gas station, although i am hard pressed to find it’s significance. is it a bigoted artifact from the west? is the gas station marketed towards the homosexual community the same way as the Village People were upon their conception?
did you know that the Village People was formed after Jacques Morali, the brain behind the group, had a dream that singer Victor Willis would sing on his album and it would be a success? did you know that i have only been arrested once?
we had trouble setting this show in Reno up. i contacted a few people and didn’t get a lot of help in general. there was one dude everyone told me to get in touch with, but i don’t think he ever replied to the emails. Or he did but had nothing helpful to say. im not criticizing him as i dont ever have anything helpful to say, either.
we ended up getting this show through Tim from the Minneapolis grind outfit known as Ambassador Gun. Tim also recorded our second demo, the fuzzier weird sounding one. Tim’s car had broken down in Minneapolis and i saw him wandering around, so i picked him up and picked his brain and landed a show. as we drove for the show, i saw the flyer and cursed.
i’m dead fucking serious, this was the flyer for the show.
but, as they usually do, things turned out surprisingly well. we got into Reno and after assessing the taco situation of the city, proceeded straight to the bar. we walked in to one of the most memorable bars filled with “scary locals” that i have ever been to. and it was GREAT.
we shuffled in and sat down at the bar and ordered beers. the beers arrived with green olives floating in the bottom. shortly after sitting in the bar, i met a skinhead who eventually relieved me after describing himself as a SHARP (Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice). then we talked about our African girlfriends and their mothers’ cooking along with New York Hardcore and his hatred for jazz music.
thats when the DG Kicks showed up.
the DG kicks were a bunch of old timers who all grew up playing live music at the casinos in Reno. they were also there to play a show scheduled at the same time. so technically, we had a big band/jazz ensemble open up for us. this cued my skinhead friend to leave.
i also found this sign with a limerick on it. i had the same limerick printed on one of those old amber mugs from the 70s. the kind with the wooden handles. if you know what i am talking about you likely also appreciated me spelling out the definition of a SHARP for you.
the DG Kicks were not bad and played for only slightly fewer people than we played for. they had an elderly couple sitting in the front and center for the entire show.
so we sat and drank our olive beers, gambling a few ones here and there at the video poker machines at the bar. i chatted with the bartender for a bit and gained a gigantic hamburger and a shot of Cazadores tequila with an ice cube and a lime in it. the burger was gigantic and the burger was served with approximately 10,000 french fries. i ate the entire thing.
so when you come here, if you are not a vegetarian or vegan, eat the burger at Ryan’s. so we sat and drank and ate and gambled and one of the DG Kicks told me that i reminded him of another guy’s son who talked to me until deciding he was not interested in punk rock. we also met Adam, the dude who set up the show, who informed me that i actually know him from an internet message board. which is not nearly as embarrassing in 2012 as it was in 2002. we’ve come a long way.
then i took a picture of Max’s arms. it took me a long time to realize why but eventually i remembered he is showing off his driving arm, not his dedication to wasting his paychecks on skin art. but i am glad Max has tattoos because we looked scarier when we were in rural towns.
i have some other notes here but i dont why or quite what theyre referencing
HAMMERFIGHT, GIDEON PURIFICATION BY FIRE (i think these are bands), SOLAR POWERED CHAINSAW CLAMPERS
dan, joel, pat – if you remember what these mean, please let me know. i’m pretty sure the solar powered chainsaw clampers refers to some dude at the bar who actually built some sort of solar powered chainsaw weapon. and the Clampers refers to some sort of fraternal order of miners that run Reno. Ryan’s was described as a Clamper bar.
we met the dudes from Otis and talked to them about metal. they were quite clearly a bunch of party dudes with long hair who enjoy hanging out in vans and listening to metal. they were A+ people and their death metal band was great. and we talked about metal. i described them as sounding influenced by Polish death metal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXelSIeqZMs
we played our set and who cares. but somehow we sold a lot of merch. we hung out in the parking lot of the bar out back and talked to some pretty legitimate freaks outside including a guy who compared me to G.G. Allin and Jello Biafra. eh. i’ll take those comparisons, i suppose. we also talked about the old goregrind death metal scene after i noticed one of those NYDM (or whatever the local chapter was) patches on his leather vest. i am certain the band Anal Cunt (who, full circle, are actually the reason i learned to love The Village People) came up in conversation. i cant find the video where Seth Putnam is gushing about the Village People but here are some lyrics from the song, “If You Don’t Like The Village People, You’re Fucking Gay”:
Jacques Morali wrote the heaviest music ever
Glenn Hughes had a deeper voice than Will from Mortician
He wore chains before Slayer and Venom
Jacques Morali was portrayed by Steve Guttenberg
we went back to stay with Otis’. shortly after arriving, i realized how everyone was likely just going to be partying all night. so i slept in the van.
when i woke up to grab everyone to leave, i noticed someone had puked by the van. somehow everyone got in the van and we left.
